Hi ya,

So, I'm puzzled about the various thoughts seering thorough my mind. I "suffer" from EDNOS, an eating disorder of a sort.

I know when I am 167 cm tall weighing 58 kilos isn't bad at all, but the kilos don't present themselves so easy on me in the mirror. My sis says I am sick wanting to be thin and not understanding that I am thin already (well she is sicker so I tend to think she is just jealouse at me 'cause I already look thin to her). My ultimate goal is to weigh 45 to 47 kilos. Grazy, huh. I think that I do look good, but if I were thinner and more fit I would look even greater.

When I think back, I've always disliked food. Haven't ever been too into food exept for apples and sweets. It wasn't as bad when I was under 12 yeas old, didn't think too much about it. In my early teen's this thing developed to it's full form. Nowadays I have probably dieted about 10 times, elapsed and gotten fat again. I am an emotional eater and more over eating makes me feel bad about myself.

Don't want to become anorexic because I value my health at least that much, but in my worst days it seems I don't mind it anymore.

Anyways, belive it or not, I'm going to try my best to loose like a ton of weight from this day on to August when I'm going on a trip to a place where most people are not fat. Can't look like this amongst those people so wish me luck in my effort. Do not say I am doing the wrong thing, won't listen to you.

My first goal is to reach 54 kilos by increasing the amount of daily exorcise to half an hour a day and eat about 1000 to 1500 calories a day. (Healthy at the beginning and going to go worse as progressing).

Let's see how it goes

Nice figure, smoothe lines, not too obvious bones (not a fan of bones).